


Batfamily oneshots and headcanons

by Coconutter



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Batfamily (DCU), Batfamily (DCU) Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:41:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25516699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coconutter/pseuds/Coconutter
Summary: The batfamily come home from patrol and Bruce just gets clowned by his kids
Relationships: Batfamily Members & Bruce Wayne, Batfamily Members & Cassandra Cain, Batfamily Members & Damian Wayne, Batfamily Members & Dick Grayson, Batfamily Members & Duke Thomas, Batfamily Members & Jason Todd, Batfamily Members & Stephanie Brown, Batfamily Members & Tim Drake
Comments: 3
Kudos: 72





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic so be nice. I will add a list of headcanons and might add any requested characters

"Dick!"  
"Yes?" He replied from the ceiling like it was the most ordinary thing in the world.  
"Get down from there it can't hold your weight."  
"Worlds greatest acrobat I'll make it"  
"Its dangerous"  
"Yeah, you're right. On a completely unrelated note remember when you trained me to go out dresses as a traffic light to help you fight crime and literal psychopaths"  
Bruce inhaled for about thirty seconds his eldest was always the hopeful one and always the most reckless "Dick as your dad I am asking you to come down from there"  
"You're not my dad you also wanna hear something" Bruce inhaled sharply. Did Dick just.  
"Oh wait I forgot you don't speak meme, I am so sorry you know what I promise I'll get down right now" and as if on que his youngest Damian walked in  
"Father I understand you raised a bunch if imbisiles but must you shout every five minutes, you're upsetting bat-cow."  
"Damian I-"  
"Oh, hey Dami, sorry about that. You wanna come up."  
"NO, no he doesn't" Bruce's eyes widened  
"Sounds adequate"  
"Awesome" Dick said extending his arm  
"You two both. Down. NOW"  
"No thank you" and "Nah I'm good was shouted back at Bruce at the same time. He wondered if the two of them had planned this. Probably yes. But he knew Dick was sorry if he gave Bruce a scare for saying what he did it's why he and Dick are as close as they are now.  
"I swear to Alfred if you to-" Bruce was interrupted by a loud crash from the dining room. What have his kids done now?  
"This conversation isn't over, you two better get down by the time I get back."  
"Probably not!" Was shouted to him as he left  
He walked into the dining room to see Steph, Tim, Cass and Barbara. Tim was holding his head and on the one side of the room Steph was on the other she looked like she was preparing to take a run up to the table, which had been stripped of all cutlery, Cass was standing beside her like a child waiting for her turn and finally Barbara was typing furiously on the laptop. She had somehow managed to block out the loud crash and continue her work.  
"What is going on!?"  
"Were being lego batman"  
"What?"  
"Our favourite movie of all time, the one was dragged you to see and didn't stop quoting for a good three months, yeah that one"Steph supplied happily  
"Tim" he looked towards the smartest if them  
"We rewatched it a couple of minutes ago and we saw the scene were 'Dick' slides down the table and we thought 'hey we can do that' well it turns out it's a little more hard to do when you haven't slept in three days and your low on coffee" Tim replied all in one breath. He forgot he may be the smartest intellectually but he didn't have the most common sence in the world especially when it came to his own safety.  
"Barbara?"  
"Yeah that's what they were doing. I'm just starting a protest."  
"Okay. Do you three think maybe you can refrain from doing that"  
"No" Tim replied instantly  
"Steph"  
"Nope" she said popping the 'p'  
"Cass"  
She shook her head no  
"Okay I love you, you two however need to stop. Tim go to sleep."  
"Never." Tim shouted Bruce was tempted to batglare but that didn't work on any of his kids "You wouldn't want to upset Alfred would you."  
"You dare to bring our lord and savour Alfred Pennyworth to this arguement shame on you Bruce." Tim shook his head. It looks like he would need the all powerful Alfred to sort this out (Great now he's talking about Alfred like he's a God too). Bruce returned to the living room where Dick and Damian where already down from the ceiling as Alfred walked downstairs to the dinning room.  
"Perhaps I can persuade Master Timothy to sleep."  
Bruce smirked as Tim walked up the stairs a few moments later "You are a sly old man." Tim glared, using his low whisper voice "So will you two consider going to bed now"  
"I'm twenty four I don't have a bed time, and you really think Damian's going to listen to you?"  
He wasn't wrong "just consider the fact that Alfred is downstairs and he isn't happy at Tim for staying up this long."  
"You wouldn't"  
"Consider it, now has anyone seen Duke I want to go over a few things he did during patrol."  
"Oh, I saw him last hiding in the vents after Damian demanded he spar with him."  
"Okay fine." He interrupted Damian before he could shout any protests  
"I didn't demand" Damian called after him

"Duke!"  
"I'm not here." Duke voice shouted from on of the closet."  
"Don't worry Damians not mimiking me"  
"Prove it"  
"Damian cried when Tim went to college"  
"Really"  
"Yes, do you think Damian would tell you that"  
Duke opened the closet "No. No he wouldn't"  
"I just wanted to go over a few things you did wrong during patrol."  
"Oh, thanks?"  
"That left hook you pulled on Penguin was misplaced and Riddler almost beat you, keep your guard up and elbows in. Now can you please be one of the good kids and go to sleep."  
"Sure I'm too tired to stay up anyway. Oh, wait but erm... not cause you told me too"  
"Dick?"  
"Yeah, he told me to be a bit more rebellious when it comes to this family I think I'm finding my feet."  
Bruce turned and walked out of Dukes room  
"the roundhouse you used on Cobblepot was flawless. Well done."  
Bruce closed the door and left a shocked Duke to get ready.  
Alfred had Tim handle but Steph and Cass could have evacuated before he could tell them off. So he'd have to find them it was a school night and Steph had exams her mother would be pissed if she failed and would probably blame him.  
"Babs where's Steph and Cass."  
"Kitchen"  
"Thank you are you staying today"  
"Not sure dad wants me home but Dick wants-"  
"We all know what Dick wants"  
"Okay just let Alfred know when you make up your mind he'll throw a fit if he can't get you anything for breakfast tomorrow"  
Steph and Cass were making, big surprise, waffles. No mess so far Bruce thanked Steph complete respect to waffles and Alfred for that.  
"Can you too just..."  
"No" Cass spoke  
"How many are you making"he asked sitting down  
"Bruce, I see you are a man of culture too"  
Steph served up the waffles as Bruce asked her if she was studying or not even though Steph had dropped out ,he made a new identity for her so she could finish school. Although he refused to make her fake name Kicky Mckickface   
"Anyway and then I dared Tim to lick the swing set and thats why you should never play with helium." Steph yawned as her eyes started to droop. "But we did- we didn't" Bruce caught her before she face planted on her empty plate.  
"Cass did you drug Steph waffles  
"Yes"she nodded innocently  
"Cass-"  
"Her test"  
Bruce understood Cass obviously didn't want Steph to fail either. She scooped the drooling Steph and went upstairs  
"Good night"  
"G'night Cass be careful with her."  
She nodded and left well at least he didn't have to worry about the girls they all seemed fine. Bruce didn't think Steph could stay mad at Cass, hell he doubted anyone could stay mad at Cass.  
"Father, Grayson has gone upstairs with Gordon so I have no one to help me with Alfred, Titus, Goliath and Bat-cow."  
"Have you brushed Bat-cow and fed the rest of-"  
"Is that suppost to be a question or an insult."  
"You're right Damian-"  
"You, like most in this household do not understand the animals stop me from murdering you all especially Drake."  
"Yes D-"  
"You also don't understand the level of care I give them and they return given the choice I would choose them over you a thousand times over."  
"Oh, well thank you Damian do you want help or not."  
Damian paused for a second. "Yes I want help."  
This was Bruce's first time properly caring for bat-cow and the rest of Damians animals wasn't worried about the giant dragon bat thing they had in their barn he knew Damian worked really hard to tame the animals he kept. It all started when Damian found the small dragon thing he saved from his time in the league wandering the Himalayas during a mission the rest was history. Tim told them about how glad he was Damian takes to animals so nicely he thought he was a psychopath and if Bruce was being completely trueful he felt the same way. Not about his son being a psycho just Damians lack of empathy worried him. But as soon as Damian saw Goliath he risked his life to save him next came Alfred the cat that he named after Alfred the human as a sign of respect and then he saved Bat-cow from a slaughter house gang and finally Titus after that they had to put a ban on the amount of animals Damian brought in.  
"You have to be gentle, Father" Damian warned as he brushed Titus's fur. If you aren't careful she'll scratch you."  
"Did you learn that from experience." Damian glared for a moment then he heard Titus get agitated and hushed him "yes, Alfred did scratch me before we got to know each other but she fine now she doesn't know you yet and will attack to defend her freinds."  
"Sounds like someone I know."  
"Who?"  
"No one you don't know Damian." They finished brushing the animals and went back inside. Damian yawned.  
"Aren't you tired."  
"Don't be obserd."  
"Okay well I am"  
"You are?"  
"Yeah"  
"Well I guess maybe I might benefit from some rest."  
"Good well brush your teeth."  
"I'm not six."

"Didn't you already finish patrol sir."  
"Yes but there's something I need to take care of"  
Bruce sped down the road in the batmobile Gotham was still alight and alive the city never slept now but it was quite enough to hear the batmobile engine a mile away. He took several turns watching the screen carefully. He moved into more down state Gotham were it was definitely more dangerous but he doubted people would stay after they heard the batmobile from around the corner.  
He sped down the streets and finally slowed down near one of his many safe houses. As he slowed the car eventually became quite as the streets it roamed. He came to a stop away from where the cameras were pointing. He snuck in, hacking into the alarms it was easy but he did notice Jason had added a few fire walls, it was a nice touch. He crept in through the halls, he saw the red headed amazon in the first room she seemed to be asleep as well as the superman clone bizzaro he had taken extra precautions to make sure that he didn't hear him. He walked over to the kitchen to see Jason asleep, his laptop open and glowing bright on his face as a few files he had piled up on top of each other. The case looked difficult Jason must have been working on it for hours. Jason didn't even flinch when Bruce touched him so Bruce gathered him in his arms and carried him to his room, he was reminded of the times when Jason was a child and still Robin the stubborn, trouble maker he was, still would be if it wasn't for that damned clown. Jason was still technically a child, god he was barely nineteen by Bruce's count. He still looked like that kid in his sleep the young boy who was so excited to go out and be robin who used to take Bruce's cape because it was warmer. Now he was a different kid, he was the boy that never stayed in the manor for more than a day. He gave Jason his cape and was out the safe house before the outlaws noticed  
"Red her what am wrong with red him." Bizzaro aked nudging Jason who stirred but didn't wake up  
"He's only sleeping leave him be he needs it"  
"What am red hims blanket"  
"Huh I didn't notice." Artemis took note of the curves at the bottom. Looks like they had had a visit from the bat.  
"Jason's dad just wanted to check on him B it's fine." 

Bruce Wayne awoke the next day to see the cape he had left at his doorstep with a note.  
Leave this thing at my place again I'll keep it -jay  
Be knew that Jason might not be ready to come home you couldn't blame him his brothers collected animals and hung from ceilings and his sister slide down tables and drugged each other but when Jason wanted to come home if any of his kids needed him Bruce was here. Because Bruce Wayne is a good Father.


	2. Headcanons

Some headcanons 

-Jason does have an autopsy scar but the only one to know about it is Damian. Jason showed him it because after coming back from the dead he felt insecure about the scars the sword left.

-Jason is known to dramictally quote Shakespeare in the middle of a fight.

\- Following this the batfamily also perform huge scenes from Shakespeare on patrol, next week is macbeth. 

-The Justice League thought that Bruce did work alone and found out about Bruce's many kids when they held a meeting in the Batcave. 

-Tim has accidentally lit himself on fire before 

-Damian made no effort to help 

\- Jason filmed it

\- Duke was scared of a few of the batfam members until one day he walked in on Cass and Steph braiding Tim's hair whilst he was asleep, Dick rocking out to some Taylor Swift, and Jason and Babs having a debate about whether Zuko could beat Azula 

\- He's still scared of Damian. Good, Damian likes it that way

\- Cass has tripped over before it is a mistake no one knows about 

-Stephs waffle addiction is as bad as Tim's coffee addiction

\- Dick plays not only Taylor Swift but also Ariana Grande. His favourite song is no tears left to cry

\- Tim has cracked cases before Bruce has and Bruce pretends that he already knew this but inside is the proudest dad. 

\- Steph beat Wally West in a race because she kicked him in the shins before they started. Easiest 50 bucks she ever made. 

-Damian often rants in Arabic when his siblings annoy him. So far Duke has learnt four different cuss words 

\- Babs watches mean girls religiously, it's her favourite movie.

\- Everyone has used the Bat Cape as a blanket, its basically a tradition 

\- Barbara has banned talk of the Avatar The Last Airbender live action movie from the house Jason breaks the finger of anyone who spoke of it. 

\- The outlaws have all met the batfam. Tim scares Bizzaro

\- Duke has once made camp in the attic while there had been fighting everyone had to coax him down with sandwiches and a week of quite 

\- Alfred is a God 

\- Duke made a box fort with Damian after he asked what one was

\- Dick does backfilps and cartwheels randomly. It could be in the middle of a conversation and then he just flips and keeps talking.

\- Damian has a dairy

\- Cass gets Starbucks with Jason if she ever sees him in Gotham. No matter what, even if they've fought before hand they always get Starbucks

\- Everyone thinks Jason keeps stealing cookies when he in the manor but it's actually Duke no one suspects him because he rarely rebels

\- Steph is actually increababily smart she's reckless and sometimes doesn't make the best choices but people underestimate her and she uses that to her advantage.

\- Jason wanted to finish his education in some kind of way so he took a bunch of online courses to get some form of qualifications 

\- The batfamily sometimes help Selina steal things. They think Bruce doesn't know but he does.

\- Selina has called Bruce in the middle of a break in so she can get his preference in what she should steal. Sometimes if he's tired enough he actually tells her

\- Cass and Steph hang out with Harley and mess with the Jokers henchmen

\- Dick has had dance offs with many villains 

\- Bruce has no idea what any memes his kids reference and he doesn't want to know be knows it will only make his disappointment grow

\- Barbara has hacked Tim's minecraft server in revenge after he spilled coffee on her new computer 

\- Wonder woman adores Bruce's kids, he swears they're monsters but she doesn't see it.

\- Once Bruce pronounced Aang 'oong'. Barbara hacked into his cell phone to make it play baby shark until he apologised but it was hard to text with a broken finger.

-Damain has nightmares when they get bad he goes to Jason's house and sleeps with him it stops the nightmare and Although Jay won't admit it, it helps him too

-Tim is allowed to insult Damian but if anyone in his school does it they are going to know how many ways he could break there bones

\- Tim watches riverdale edits, it makes him laugh and the cringe writing can be used in many situations 

\- Dick knows what the references are but is to scared to say anything. The family would never let him forget it.

\- Duke went into the kitchen at 4 am and found Jason on the table eating ice cream, they had a midnight feast and he gave some pointers in combat and how to survive in this family 

\- The kids have been kidnapped many times and they know a few of their regulars when they do get kidnapped they like to catch up on how there kids are doing in school. Tim's got one on discord 

\- Bruce brags about his kids to the league in a completely monotone and Batman way its impossible to make fun of him.

\- Tim sleeps in random places they have found him in the chimney once 

\- Selina and Damian look after stray cats together they run a vet hotel type thing for cats 

-Jason has called Selina mom once, Duke wants to but he feels like he's replacing his own with her and he's not ready to give up on his parents yet. Selina and Bruce both understand 

\- Dick has comforted Duke when he's cried for parents he and Dick became quite close after that

\- As hard as becoming paralysed was Barbara thought about other people who might feel like they can't do anything anymore and now runs free martial arts lesson for disabled people 

\- Someone once said that Barabara reminds them of Toph she has never been so proud in her life 

\- Duke thinks the commissioner is wearing a wig Babs assure him he isn't but even she's becoming a little suspicious 

\- Cass has taught her girl scouts group to kick ass Steph has now signed up

\- Duke can resite all of the lord of the rings books by heart it's one of his best talents 

\- Cass has had a dance off with Dick at a gala. He lost 

\- All of the batkids have tik tok. There contents are:  
Dick, postes dance tik tok he gets thousand of complaints on his ass.  
Jason, Loves the theatre and follows any actors on every social media he can.  
Tim, is just in it for the memes he doesn't post anything but his fy page is full of them  
Steph,posts most if the memes on Tim's fy page  
Cass, doesn't post much but will assist her sibling in get as much likes as possible with her beautiful dance skills  
Duke, posts about how crazy his family is there are videos of how the batfamily work.  
Barbara, posts on how to get revenge through pranks or hacking she also has anything she's passionate about, feminism, Blm, LGBTQ, she's been marked as the ultimate ally

\- The batfam have been asked to do reality shows his kids beg him to say yes but he thinks it'll ruin there secrate identities (and his representation)

\- Jason's death got on to buzzfeed unsolved 

\- When Dick and Barbara broke up she didn't hate Kory they actually bonded on all the dumb things Dick Grayson has done. When she and Dick got back together after two years kory and Babs never stopped talking about there teams and what they were doing as heroes 

-During galas the batkids have broke over 1000 things all together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might do some stories surrounding these


	3. Chapter 3

Duke was new to the whole superhero thing, not to mention the whole huge family that might crawl out of the vents and drop into your room when you least expect it thing, but he was getting better he was learning names (Dick, Barbara, Steph, Cass, Tim, Damian sometimes Selina) and he was bonding with them last week he and Tim talked for an hour about The Leagand of Zelda and Animal Crossing, and Cass, he talked to her for ages about why Lucky Charms were the superior cereal, but there were still things he didn't know. Like the fact that there a rogue batfamily member that needs some money from Bruce has strange tactics for getting his attention. 

All he wanted was coffee. Just coffee but no. No, his life can never be that easy can it? Now he's waking up in some random room in a comfortable bed and honestly questioning if he's actually been kidnapped because nothing stopping him from using his powers and nothing tying him down. He could've easily walked out and kick the kidnappers butt. He took out his phone and called Tim "Hey, so I think I've been kidnapped." "You think?" "Yeah, I mean one minute it was getting coffee and the next theres a tranq in my neck." "Oh my God. THE COFFEE." "Never had the chance to get it Tim." "Ahh... when are you going to be back with it" Tim sighed, you could hear the desperation in his voice. Jesus he sounded like an addict "Okay back to the, kidnapping part. I seriously don't know if I've actually been kidnapped. There's no rope, no anonymous room, the doors not even locked." "Duke you sound offended." "I aM NoT" "Okay, but yeah I know what's up, your fine. Probably." "Tim, Tim." The line went dead. Unbelievable. He used his powers to read the light in the room but he must have been out for a good hour because nothing came up. Duke slowly got out of the bed and opened the door, he was right, it wasn't even locked (Oh, Come on!) and went down the hall still reading the light with no results. The house he was in was a bit small but it wasn't exactly bad looking it kinda looked like something you'd find on his old street. There were some holes in the wall and some chipped paint but it had a few plants and it was warm. Not like what you see it the movies wheres theres like blood everywhere and all kinds of grey. Duke was beginning to think this these movies were a little cliché. The hall went on and opened into a kitchen and living room, where there was a huge guy in the middle of the kitchen, cooking pasta. He looked taller then Bruce or at least the same size, he was wearing sweats and no protective gear but he did have a gun in his pants. Duke began looking for his weak spot when he turned around. He had a white streak through his hair and looked to be a bit older then him, maybe seventeen to twenty, he had werid eyes too they were almost unnaturally green.  
"Hey" he greeted "good to see you up, buttercup."  
"What the hell man!?" Duke shouted "You just kidnap me and talk to me like it's no big deal"  
"Yeah, you're definitely the new guy, sorry about that but I needed some cash from the Bat and this is how I ask." "Bruce you know- err... who's Bruce? I mean Bat. The Bat." "You know for a detective, you're not really bright. Bruce Wayne, Batman, should be the guy your living with unless I got the wrong guy, again"  
"No you didn't, how do you know this."  
'"You don't know me?" Duke shook his head. "I get it I'm a really bad influence, Names Jason Peter Todd i was the second Robin until a clown with a crowbar came along and killed me, I came back viva Lazarus pit and then went on a murderous rampage and tried to kill Dick, Tim and Bruce. After the whole killing spree me and Bruce made up and now I'm on shaky terms with all of them."  
"Oh...okay, still not the weirdest thing about this family."  
"I take that as a complement" there was a few moments of awkward silence then Jason spoke up.  
"So new to the family, how's that"  
"Its fine I guess, I'm not really used to it though. There are a lot of people and I'm not the best fighter, I used to live with my parents in Gotham and then they- something happened to them long story short Bruce Wayne came along and now here we are."  
"Yeah but what's it like living there, I haven't been there in a while so I wouldn't know"  
"Me and Tim are pretty good and Damians... scary. Err... Dicks pretty nice-"  
"Nice ass too" Jason interrupted "Your used to those comments right" "Yeah, I've lived with Steph for a few days. But your not wrong, the guys thicker than Wonder Woman."  
The two laughed, Duke wasn't really good with meeting new members of Bruce's crazy family but Jason seemed cool, werid but cool maybe he could hang out with him and Tim, oh wait no forgot about the murder part.  
"So your selling me for fifty dollars, that's it. That's just rude I'm worth at least a hundred."  
"That's what I wanted from Bruce, do you want me to up it."  
"Yes!"  
"Okay, but Duke your worth one hundred and fifty don't let anyone else tell you otherwise."  
Duke nodded seriously as he and Jason ate their pasta. It was seriously good maybe better than Alfred's  
After they reviewed the price again Duke thought about something  
"Hey, Jay" Jason looked up from his gun and nodded  
"Why did you kidnap me or well why couldn't you have just called Bruce."  
"I already told you I need his attention" Duke gave him a look "Duke" "Jason" Jason signed and pinched the bridge of his nose "ah.. what the hell." He mumbled "Because... because, I didn't want to get his hopes up, he thinks I'm not talking to him a lot because of the Lazarus pit doing something to my mind and hell maybe it did but that's not the reason I don't talk to them. I don't because I'm not ready. I've caused so much pain for them and I can't just show up, I'll see it every time they look at me there'll be mistrust and I can't do that. I'm taking it one step at a time so kidnapping the poeple I want to talk to and having Bruce pay me to get them back sounds good right now."  
"I get it that families crazy." Duke looked up at Jason who was avoiding his eyes "when you're ready to come back I'll be happy to talk books with you."  
"Thanks Duke your my new favourite."  
"Aww..." Duke teased 

"Okay so just don't point you toes, you'll break them."  
"I think I got it"  
"Yeah a little"  
Duke performed the kick for Jason to see. "Great, now do it properly and you'll be fine."  
"Oh thanks" Dukes phone rang. It was Bruce  
"Where have you been" he was using the worried dad voice. Oh no "At Jason's"  
"You've been gone for three hours."  
"Yep" Duke winced "I haven't heard from either of you"  
"Yep" Dukes voice went higher, if that was even possible "You could have been in danger " Bruce sighed "Jason is one of the most dangerous people on the planet and he and I are not on good terms" "No"  
"What?"  
"No, I mean I get it he attacked Tim and Dick and you but he hasn't tried to kill me and he's... Look, Jason actually really nice B I"m starting to get along with one of your crazy children. And he hasn't threatened me or anything. You know how many times Damian has threatened me."  
"Duke you should have called normally Jason has his siblings back by now."  
"I know, I'm sorry I was just having fun."  
"Be back as soon as possible."   
"Kay"  
Duke hung up. What was Bruce so worried about when it came to Jason the guy seemed all better now. I guess the whole kidnapping and murder might put you on edge. But Damians murdered poeple too, he tried to kill Tim just yesterday after he scared Alfred (the cat, Duke swears Alfred is invincible) and the Red Hood hasn't killed ever since he made amends with Batman. This was so complicated and dumb.  
"So the old man wants you back."  
"Yeah he seemed... worried."  
"That I'd killed you."  
"No... Yeah"  
"I don't blame him, I mean last week I tried to kill Roy with a butter knife." "What?" "Long story. The point is the fam has every right not to trust me, I didn't call, to tell them you where okay, I didn't send any kind of message. We should get you home anyway."  
"Hey, but I'm having fun and your one of the only kids that I can actually get along with other then Tim and Cass and sometimes Barbara if she's there but your not a monster Jay, your just traumatized and aren't we all. Look at Dick the man is basically a huge child, Damiams more capable of taking care if himself."  
"Your seriously optimistic Duke, a killer, joining a family of heroes I've tried to kill multiple times."  
"...Yes"  
"God, your worse then Dick. You know what maybe I'll come over, when I'm ready I'll go to the manor and I'll see everyone."  
"Yes!" Duke squealed like a fourteen year old girl, he got excited (don't judge him). Jason made fun of him the whole way home. 

"Hey, B?"  
"Yes Duke"  
"How would you feel about Jason coming home"  
Bruce paused and looked up from the Batcomputer, he stared at Duke inquizitvely "Why are you asking?"  
"Because Jason's scared and he wants to come back, he didn't say it but I could tell"  
"I want that to but," he sighed Duke thought he saw him age a few years "so much has happened to Jason and I want what's best for him and if that's waiting then I won't rush him."  
"Okay, just keep that in mind" Bruce watched Duke go. The kid was starting to come out of his shell. He thought he'd be scared of Jason if he told him about him. He's glad Jasom choose when to meet him instead. There was hope that he would come home after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a really short one. I don't read many Signal comics so sorry if he's out of character. I tried


	4. More headcanons cause I've lost inspiration

Headcanons because I've lost all purpose 

-The batfamily went to Ivy and Harleys wedding, Dick cried.

-Damian has a Batman onesie, the Batkids bought it as a joke but he might occasionally wear it.

-Bruce makes really bad dad jokes at the dinner table. It once got so bad Duke threw his plate at the wall and screamed for 10 whole minutes.

-Ras Al Ghul once tried to make an appearance at Damian's 13th, the Batfamily barked and snarled like dogs. He didn't even fight them he just left.

-Tim got really into it.

-The Batfam refuse to die before Brooklyn 99 ends

-Duke has tested the Batfamilies knowledge of memes. They were all a little insulted but they happily played along.

-Selina and Talia get there nails done together. They both talk shit about Bruce being emotionally stunted 

-Dick has given gymnastic lessons at his local gym Jason attended as a joke but actually saw his acrobatic skills improve dramatically.

-Bruce once bought a trampoline for his kids. It was broken within two days. 

-The Joker once faced a Tim that had his coffee privileges taken away. It's one of the only things that scare him.

-Joker also tried to ruin Harley's wedding he was met with several gun shots, nine batarangs, and a very well aimed baseball bat.

-Dick has been invited to The Gotham Sirens girls night out. He will never get that wasted again.

-Cass loves comics the pictures and the bold writing helps her read and the superhero life is relatable to her.

-The batkids help fuel the rumour that Bruce is Batman. Babs started it by hacking into Bruce's Instagram and leaving  
'I am vengeance  
I am the night  
I AM BATMAN'  
The kids haven't stopped since

-Steph has been known to chase a dot around like a cat 'just cause.'

-Dick steals Jason's clothes, Jason like two feet taller and Dick has to cuff everything but it's fine because he says "it helps my fellow gays know I'm one of them."

-Jason has stolen Bruce's credit card and used it to buy $50,000 worth of wonder woman merchandise.

-Stephanie has punched Kaitlyn Bennett before when she showed up at her college.

-The batfamily change capes to pride flags during pride month. The weren't good for stealth but it was worth it 

-Homophobes were scared Batman would get them.

-Damian Wayne is savage and his roasts are legendary, e.g.  
"Okay Dami now catch."  
"There goes the ball. And the last fuck I gave."

"This is about me isn't it, Bruce."  
"We're holding a meeting about something that actually matters."  
"Your just mad I did it with your mom."  
"You mean you actually made a girl climax. Impossible."

"Why are you so mean?"  
"Why did you start stuffing your costume."

"Your like ten. Stop looking at my chest."  
"What chest?"

"Drake is incompetent he couldn't do anything right."  
"I am right here."  
"An annoyance we are all aware of."

"Drake you aren't 'pretty'."  
"Kon disagrees."  
"Kent, needs his eyes checked you look like a wannabe Tik tok E-boy but uglier."

"Maybe, Father we would have caught the criminal. If your ancient bones didn't creak everytime you walked."

"Oh, please Gordon you've done it with Grayson, who knows how many STDs you have."  
Just to name a few. 

-Alfred has threatened the Batfamily with broken bones if they didn't sleep or stay in recovery.

-Selina is who you go to if you want something and Bruce said no. 

-Bruce has never missed a school play and plans to keep that record.

-Tim has asked Jason to throw him out of a window before. He did. Steph wanted to go next. 

-Bruce has actually knows exactly what his kids mean and what they reference. His hand was forced, he needed to know if Jason was kidding or if he was actually doing drugs, and he has almost blow his cover once.  
'Dicks down he yeeted himself out of a window.'  
'The bread was not worth it guys."  
'I have never fallen on my ass that bad before.'  
'Weird flex but, okay.'  
'WHAT?"  
'What?'

-Duke has been to Comic con as Signal. No one knew he was the real deal. 

-Cass and Steph have both been to paradise island with Diana. She wanted to show of her nieces and they got to train. Babs would have came but she was busy hacking the FBI

-Alfred leaves meals on the roof for Jason if he gets hungry he stops by the manor. He might even come in sometimes to talk. 

-Tim and Damian have bonded over gaming. Tim takes him to those old school arcades so he can play Pac Man

-None of the bats are allowed Twitter anymore. Not after Steph almost started World War three.

-The batkids have been invited on talk shows. The disasters. The memes 

-Babs has been mugged as a civilian more times then most. Criminals think she's easy to take down because all they see is her wheelchair. But boy, are they surprised when she body slames them.

-Tim has been on roller coasters and just kept a complete straight face throughout it.


End file.
